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truisms about Sascha Konietzko
many people make so called jokes about chuck norris. i hardly think he is deserving of the omnipotence commonly associated with him. however, there is a more likely candidate for these outrageous statements (but theyre not outrageous when applied to this man.)
#1 Sascha Konietzko is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
#37 In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Sascha Konietzko turned that wine into beer.
#44 Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Sascha Konietzko can kill 100 percent of whatever the hell he wants.
#6 Sascha Konietzko’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Sascha Konietzko.
#17 Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for a day. Give a man anything that is better than a fish, and Sascha Konietzko will beat his ass and take it.
#20 Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Sascha Konietzko.
#64 Once a cobra bit Sascha Konietzko’s leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
#76 Sweating bullets is literally what happens when Sascha Konietzko gets too hot.
#88 Sascha Konietzko’s dog is trained to pick up its own poop because Sascha Konietzko will not take crap from anyone.
#99 The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Sascha Konietzko’s fist.
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